What’s Done Is Done

What Has Been Done Has Been Done

What Has Been Done Has Been Done

I use this quote in Sabbath in the Suburbs, and I have it posted on the bulletin board in my study. I try to let go of the unfinished work of my life when it is time to rest, or play, or sleep, or simply go to the next thing. Sometimes I feebly succeed.

I’m in a busy season of travel, which also sadly coincides with a couple of kid events: concerts and the like. I often feel some sadness and guilt when I leave town—Robert is a full and capable partner, but his work schedule is not as flexible as mine—and this time those feelings have been compounded by the missed concert.

I am thankful beyond measure for the privilege of being with congregations and other leaders, whether as a preacher, conference keynoter, or retreat leader. It is my joy and my vocation. But I do miss my family when I’m away.

I deal with these feelings (or not) with a pre-travel ritual that I call “guilt cleaning and overcompensation laundry.” I was in the midst of this flurry last week and said to Robert, “I always feel a little bad about leaving,” and he responded, “What’s done is done.”

I stopped for a moment, because I didn’t know what he meant. My initial interpretation of his statement was, “Well MaryAnn, it’s a little late to worry about that now. You’re committed to these events.”

I thought he was judging me, or expressing frustration. But actually, he was quoting the New Zealand Prayer Book to me: What you finish, you finish. Don’t feel bad about it; we’ll be fine; let it be.  

Huh. The dude actually listens to stuff I say!

Now if only I would listen…


Image: The Episcopal Church Facebook page

10 thoughts on “What’s Done Is Done

  1. Stephanie

    Mary Ann, We loved having you lead us through our Women’s Retreat in Kansas City at Heartland camp with Village Church. What a wonderful treat to spend time with you and wrap around your inspiration. You beautifully gave us the space to figure out some things for ourselves, with guidance, such a gift!

    This quote has been in my mind since you shared it with us last weekend. It pulls everything together. Many things you shared continue to come up for me, but the easiest one to remember, let it be, let it be. What is done is done, tomorrow is a new day, relax about the undone to-do’s, enjoy what is now!

    Thank you for traveling to be with us, I know you are torn and missing events you hate to miss, but we were showered with blessings to have you!
    Thank you! Stephanie

    1. MaryAnn McKibben Dana Post author

      Bless you Stephanie!

      I wrestled with whether and how to post this. I didn’t want to give the impression that traveling and speaking is drudgery or something I resent. I love it. I do. But as we all know, all too well, every Yes means a No to something else.

      So thank you for taking this in the spirit I intended it. It was a GREAT weekend and you all are a special group of women indeed. I am very glad I said Yes! In fact, the people I get to spend time with are always so lovely… I’m always glad I said Yes. The welcome-home kisses from the kids are also awesome 🙂

      1. Stephanie

        You express it all very well! It’s good to go and do your amazing work!! And good to come home, be missed and smothered in kisses:) Blessings abound!

  2. virginia hollis

    like the saying. will use to help me in my daily routine of being retired Pastor and keeping spouse and i on track, so to speak.

      1. Bob Braxton

        something the radio program Dragnet taught me when I was a young child: done – done done done – done

  3. Yvette Evans

    oh, the timing on this is perfect. just what i needed to hear at the end of a busy, but very satisfying week at work. unfortunately, that busy week meant missing playtime and/or bedtime rituals with barrett, and i’ve been feeling a lot of guilt about putting my job first this week. but, its friday and whats done is done! i’m sure matt would like it if i did some guilt cleaning this weekend!

  4. Pingback: What’s Done Is Done | Sabbath in the Suburbs… and Beyond

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