I was talking with a friend recently about a setback in her running. By the time it’s all said and done, she will be sidelined for half a year, unable to run at all, and the thought of having to start over is really bumming her out.
I could relate, having been through my own time of injury and rebuilding from scratch. And maybe we can all relate, whether we run or not. Pretty much everyone knows what it’s like to have plans derailed, to have to start over, or to find ourselves on a completely different path than the one we’d hoped to travel. I’ve been reading Sheryl Sandberg’s Option B, about coming to terms with the unexpected death of her husband. The book is full of wisdom for life’s adversities, however large or small. It also covers similar ground to my book on improv as a life practice, so it’s a good one to tide you over until mine comes out next year! (And if anyone knows Sandberg and could put me in touch with her, I’d love to give her an advance copy.)
I read recently about Willie Stewart, a young, talented rugby player until a horrific construction accident caused him to lose his left arm. For some two years, he laid about, devastated at the loss of the life he’d known, the life that would never be his. (Who could blame him?)
Eventually he found his way back into sports, this time setting his sights on triathlon. He learned to swim and bike with just one arm. This was in the 1980s, when there wasn’t as much support and encouragement for athletes with disabilities. He was determined to compete in the Ironman World Championship in Hawaii.
Finally in 2002, Stewart found himself in the front row of swimmers, determined to match his strength, endurance and focus against the most able-bodied athletes. He finished in the top third of competitors, and went on to have a fruitful career with many other honors and accolades, inspiring others.
Occasionally, a fan or friend will say to Stewart, “Imagine what you could have done if you hadn’t lost your arm!” Imagine, indeed.
And his answer is always the same:
“I wouldn’t have done any of it.”
To come to terms with life as it is, rather than life as we thought it might be, is a holy struggle and a lifelong pursuit. May we find the courage not only to survive, but to thrive.
It was a hot and humid day, but the race was superb. We had a great time, and it turned out to be a significant race experience for me:
That’s a third place medal. What???
More on that later.
Race Logistics and Review
This is my first Revolution3 race, and I was very impressed by the communication and logistics of this race. I got a personal call from the staff the week of the race, asking if I had any questions and thanking me for registering. The 10-minute race preview video was helpful, and the athlete guide was very complete.
This would be a great first race for a new triathlete, especially one in the DC area–Montclair is south of Woodbridge near Quantico, so it’s convenient. There’s also a Splash and Dash for kids, which makes for a nice family-friend festival atmosphere. The Montclair community seems to take a lot of pride in hosting this race.
And the swag! Participants got a t-shirt, hat, and Rev3 neck gaiter (yes, we’ve got a long hot summer to get through, but then it will get cold enough to need a neck gaiter again). The participant medals were nice. You also get a latex swim cap, color-coded for which type of swim start you do. That isn’t really a race premium, but it’s nice to have backup caps.
The swim is 750 meters in a lovely tree-lined lake. Athletes seeded themselves based on 100yd pace and entered the water two by two, except the speedy speedsters who did a traditional wave before the rest of us. The race is small enough that you don’t have to worry about being mowed down in the water, though I did have a guy t-bone into me while doing the backstroke. (Backstroke? Really?) Buoys are large and plentiful, with lots of safety patrols in kayaks. The swim concludes on a sandy beach, but then it goes to grass, so by the time you get to transition your feet are mostly cleaned off.
The transition area was spacious enough, and the racks are labeled with athletes’ numbers AND names, which is a nice touch. People were friendly and helpful, though I find the intimidation factor to be high in triathlons. Something about the expensive bikes and bullet-shaped helmets make me feel totally out of my league, what with my basic swim unitard, and also Clifford the Big Red Bike, my serviceable but un-flashy ride that a friend gave me as a hand-me-down. And unlike running races, there are no costumes, nor even amusing shirts. I get that swimming makes a tutu hard to wear, and you can’t fit a jester hat over a helmet, but you kinda get the feeling that the tri community isn’t here to play. All well and good, just different.
The 12-mile bike ride consists of a double loop. It’s hilly, but the hills are mostly gradual, and anyone who trains in northern Virginia would be well prepared for them. The bike begins with a nasty uphill, and the race announcer made a point of reminding people to park their bikes in a low gear, which was a friendly thing to do. The route was shady most of the way, which made a huge difference in comfort level.
The 5K run is also hilly, but again mostly shady. The first half was on the sidewalk alongside part of the bike course, and someone had written various jokes and sayings on the sidewalk in chalk. Thinking of 15 words that rhyme with “run” kept me mentally occupied for quite a while. The second half of the run course is on neighborhood streets as opposed to the main drag. There were at least two water/Gatorade stops, and perhaps a third if memory serves.
The finish chute is on the beach, and the announcer read each name as the person finished. I love when races do that. Crowd support was sporadically placed but enthusiastic, with neighborhood folks offering signs and encouragement.
Post-race amenities included various packaged snacks, plus thick French toast with little packages of syrup. This race also had several computers set up where you could print a receipt with your race time and standings. This was so cool, and I hope more races move to this. It did create a little drama for me personally, which I’ll explain in the next section.
Overall I’d give this race an A. I’m already excited to come back next year.
Personal Goals and Recap
I hadn’t done a triathlon since last August. I hoped to get a PR, but my main goals were modest and tactical:
1. To do freestyle for the majority of the swim segment. I had a goggles fail in August, which meant I had to breaststroke the whole way. And I’ve really been working on FS endurance.
2. To cut down on transition time
3. To push myself on the run leg, which despite being my main sport was the weakest of the three legs last time, at least in terms of relative standing in my division.
How did I do? Well, I did freestyle the whole time and felt strong–but ended up swimming the same pace as I did doing breaststroke last year. Which could mean that my breaststroke is comparatively fast… OR more likely, I need to work on freestyle form, considering I learned as a kid and have never really worked on technique.
I cut way down on transition time by picking a shirt with wide arm holes to throw on over my unitard suit, and slipping on my running shoes while keeping them tied. (I don’t clip in. I’m a big weenie on the bike.) I also borrowed a race belt for my bib, but I lost some time when I stepped into it and the bib ripped. Had to reattach it using diagonal holes. Later Robert said, “Don’t step into it, just put it around you and then hook it.” Duh. This is why you practice transitions.
As for the run leg, I used every mantra I knew to keep going in the heat. I ended up with a 3-minute PR overall, thanks to faster transitions and a faster run leg. I definitely have room to grow–in all three legs, really–but one of my mantras was “as good as I am,” and yesterday was as good as I could be that day.
Regular readers know my angst over whether to register in the Athena category, which is for athletes over a certain weight. Ultimately I decided to go for it. I love that recreational athletes come in all shapes and sizes, and it felt good to take a small stand for positive body image. The race had all the Athenas racked together in transition, and they were funny and badass.
When I printed out my finish time, they had sorted me into my age group rather than as an Athena. They got that figured out, but then it turned out they hadn’t categorized any of the Athenas properly. While they were sorting that out, I printed a result that said I was 3rd out of 6 in my division. I was excited to see that 3–that meant a podium award–but I knew there were more than 6 of us. So there was a long time of waiting and wondering whether another Athena would knock me off the podium, and practicing the art of holding outcomes loosely. Something I kinda stink at.
Finally they got things worked out and I printed my final result:
And that’s when I started to cry.
I have never won anything athletic in my life. My body was the thing that toted my brain around, and that was about it. I was the last kid picked for the team. When I played softball in middle school, I was a passable second base player on the last team in the league. Even today, I am a mid-pack runner on a typical day. And yesterday it was so hot, and I was so tired. And yet I had done something that for me would have seemed impossible even 7 years ago.
The podium finish was bittersweet. Very few triathlons have an Athena category, and I only have one more race on the calendar this season, and it’s not an Athena one. And I may not even qualify for Athena much longer–I’ve been slowly losing weight over the last several months, and unless I stubbornly plateau, I’ll be knocked out of the division next year. Which I have mixed feelings about, to be honest. I love the Athenas I race with, whether we call ourselves that or not.
But either way, I’ll still be there on the starting line of Montclair next year. It was a great race. Though I wouldn’t turn down a cool snap that day…
When I was a little girl, and even into my teens, I spent inordinate time thinking about this body part.
Yes, that’s Wonder Woman. GO SEE IT.
Body image stuff shows up in many different ways. Some people (most of them girls and women) obsess over the flat stomach, or the “thigh gap,” a term that didn’t even exist when I was younger, thank goodness. For whatever reason, the focus of my attention was on the hamstring tendon.
Do you have Visible Hamstring Tendon? I do not. I could feel it when I flexed my knee, but it has never been visible, no matter how much weight I lost, nor how fit I got. I am within normal BMI for my height, and arguably the healthiest I’ve ever been, and certainly the strongest. I run close to 1,000 miles a year while pursuing two other sports. I ran three half marathons within three months earlier this year, each one faster than the one before. But still, that stupid hamstring tendon remains buried under a thin but persistent layer of fat.
(If you say, “Why on earth would you care about that?” I guess you’ve never been plagued with body image issues. Congratulations.)
Athena. More about her later.
I’ve been thinking about VHT (a condition I just acronymed myself) as I prepare for this Sunday’s Montclair Sprint Triathlon, my first triathlon of the summer. When I went to register for the race, I was given the option of registering in my gender and age group, or as an “Athena.” I’d never run into this before, but a few races do it–a designation for people who weigh more than a certain amount. I’m not way over the line, but I’m definitely over it.
(By the way, the designation for the gents is called Clydesdale. Let’s just say I’m really glad the women’s category has a different name. A friend who loves horses insists that Clydesdales are beautiful, strong, graceful animals. Certainly. But God love her, I doubt my friend was ever the tallest and broadest girl in her grade. Clydesdale has way too much baggage.)
I went back and forth about whether to register as an Athena. I’m a confirmed mid-pack athlete, so the whole point of running has always been to compete with myself–to “beat yesterday.” Why does it even matter what category I’m in? Would I actually be competitive against other Athenas? Possible, but unlikely. It also seems a little simplistic to lump all of the Athenas together, the 5’9” ones like me with the 5’2” ones.
If I’m honest, a part of me sees it as a bogus designation. That’s the voice that says being overweight (or even fat) is a choice, a matter of willpower, even a moral failing. That voice isn’t the loudest one–it’s a minority voice, to be sure–but it’s there, and I’m not sure it will ever be completely exorcised. Certainly not as long as our society beats that drum so insistently. Things are better culturally than they used to be, but fat is still seen as a personal defeat, rather than a complicated byproduct of yes, some choice, but also genetics, circumstance, economics, and privilege.
This is all on my mind as my kids begin a new swim season, their first in a new swim league. Reston does competition and team points differently than our former league. There are three divisions in which kids get sorted based on their times in different events. So for example, if an 8-year-old boy swims a 25-meter freestyle in less than 28 seconds, he’s in division A. Between 28 and 37 seconds, division B. Slower than that, division C. There are points awarded for first, second and third place in each division.
I can hear the scoffers now. “The top three swimmers should get the points, full stop,” they might say, and inevitably start pontificating about how everyone-gets-a-trophy is the downfall of American culture. I assume most of the people who think that won the genetic lottery, and probably have Visible Hamstring Tendon. But I’ll tell you what I saw at Saturday’s meet. I saw kids at all levels, who swam their hearts out, and were given the chance to contribute to the overall success of their team. How is that a bad thing?
So… did I register for the Athena category? Damn right I did.
Is it because I worked out my body image issues? No, not completely–though it stands to reason that someone who swims, bikes and runs with 165 pounds is doing more work (or at least, different work) than someone who does it with 120. And VHT is stupid, I get it.
No, what made the decision for me is this:
I love Athena. I always have.
My Facebook friends have been treated to a weekly Athena for the last month or so, as I remember how much I adore that character. Wisdom? Courage? Justice? Democracy? Heck, throw knitting and crafts in there too, she’s got time on her hands.
Basically, any time things look really damn bad, your girlfriend is in the hands of a horrible monster, your family is held hostage by an evil king, and your only chance of salvation lies in being able to single-handedly kill a dragon made out of lava, and you’re just sitting there staring at the ground hopelessly thinking what the fuck do I do now, Athena is the goddess that materializes out of nowhere with a lava-dragon-slaying hand grenade, a winged horse, and a motherfucking ham sandwich and tells you to get your shit together, suck it up, and be a goddamn hero. This goddess is legit, folks.
Some favorite Athenas. I call this gesture goddessplaining:
Just do it my way already.
Check out this gun show:
And she has an owl! And I went to Rice!
In reading up on the Athena category, there are plenty of women who qualify for it but don’t register as such. In triathlons, athletes get marked in Sharpie with their race number. Athenas get an additional A with that number, and some women feel self-conscious about being branded a big girl. I get it, and people should do what they feel comfortable with.
As for me, I’ll wear the A proudly. There’s no hiding this body of mine, and I don’t want to. She wouldn’t:
She’s here to kick ass and chew gum, and they didn’t have gum in ancient Greece.
Today is Global Running Day. Who comes up with these names for things? No idea–probably a shoe company–but who cares, running is an activity and a community to be celebrated. (Read my invitation to running here. Yes, you.)
I celebrated Global Running Day this morning at the track with a bunch of other fierce mama runners (including a 38-week pregnant mama who walked!). I had a pyramid workout on the plan, which involves running progressively longer intervals, then backing down again, and repeating. On my final interval I decided to go all out. I felt a bit like the Millennium Falcon–a bucket of bolts that’s a liiiiiiiiiittle too old for hyperdrive–but I actually hit a 5:45 pace… for a short time 😉
I made everyone these no-bake “energy bites,” which my friends dubbed “Schweddy Balls” in honor of the Alec Baldwin skit on SNL. (Full of innuendo–you’ve been warned.) Despite the unsavory name, they’re really tasty, easy to make, and satisfy one’s sweet tooth with wholesome ingredients.
Here’s my proud improv moment: we were out of chocolate chips, which really make the cookie what it is. I found a bag of Hershey’s Miniatures, which we put in the kids’ lunch. Mr. Goodbar is the least favorite of the four flavors, so AHA!
I unwrapped a bunch and chopped away. They ended up going well with the crunchy peanut butter.
SCHWEDDY BALLS (aka energy bites)
There are many versions of these, some with chia seeds, flax seed, coconut (ew), etc. This version is simple and you might even have the ingredients on hand.
Makes a couple dozen, depending on how large you make them.
1 1/2 cup dry old-fashioned oatmeal
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/3 cup honey
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
I also threw in a tablespoon or so of wheat germ
Stir all ingredients together in a medium bowl until thoroughly mixed. Cover and let chill in the refrigerator for half an hour.
Once chilled, roll into balls of whatever size you would like.
Store in an airtight container and keep refrigerated for up to 1 week.
I wrote a couple years ago about my five-minute journal practice. It’s a morning check in (with optional evening one) that’s short enough not to be too burdensome every day. (Confession: I don’t do it every day.)
I made the changes in response to an interview I heard with Evie Serventi on the RunnersConnect podcast. She is a sports psychologist and has her clients do a number of things to get mentally prepared for races. One is to have them check in with themselves each day and write down how they feel physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
I decided this is something worth doing for me. I’m a 3 on the Enneagram, and it’s easy for that type to get focused onproductivity and achievement, to the point that we lose touch with our own inner life.
So here is my new five minute journal. (It still only takes about five minutes!)