Author Archives: MaryAnn McKibben Dana

Jun 5, 2013

On Letting Go of Sunday School

Children respond to the call to Sunday School class in 1937

The Sunday School movement began in the 1780s to provide education to children working in factories—children who were not receiving any other formal education. Teachers shared lessons on Christian religion, but also things like reading, sports, and drama. Today, more and more people are asking whether Sunday School is nearing the end of its life cycle, particularly in certain congregations and contexts.

Tiny Church’s practice in recent years has been to have Sunday School class during the worship hour, following the children’s time. For a small congregation, we have a good number of school-age children—this fall there will be nine, plus about seven middle and high schoolers and a handful of nursery-age.

That’s if they’re all there.

But they’re never all there… which is one of the problems with relying on Sunday School as a child’s primary Christian formation. “Regular church attendance” is different than it was even 5 years ago. Now, a couple times a month is considered regular. Around here, folks generally aren’t slacking off and sleeping in. They’re attending Girls on the Run, taking a weekend trip out of town, volunteering at the Kennedy Center, or helping a friend move. That means the adults who would teach weekly Sunday School are also out a lot, in addition to the kids.

Several of us at Tiny met this past Sunday to talk about Christian education in our congregation, and decided to see all of this as a creative challenge rather than a problem. We have the opportunity to think about Christian formation more holistically, rather than shuttling kids off to a separate room and trusting that they’ll get everything they need there.

Starting this summer, Tiny Church will no longer have Sunday School.

Instead, we will continue work in our Upper Room, which is the kid-friendly worship space in our balcony. School-age children go up after the children’s time and spend the rest of the service there. An adult leads them up and, before they go in, encourages them to “get ready to continue worshiping” by calming and centering, removing their shoes, and so forth.

There are always kinks to work out, but I’m happy to say that the Upper Room is working as well as I could have dreamed. Kids are able to wander, browse a children’s Bible or picture book in one of the comfy chairs, draw or do a simple craft at the table, use the Buddha Board, or mess around with the wooden Noah’s Ark or nativity set. And yet… they’re listening. They’ll walk over to the railing, peek over and watch what’s going on. I was preaching about Pope Francis’s recent remarks and a six year old walked up to Robert and whispered, “What’s an atheist?” I love it.

That said, we also see the value in building intentional relationships between adults and children (which is one of the primary benefits of Sunday School), so we’re thinking about planning a multi-week project maybe once a semester. At these times, children would have a “pull-out” during worship, perhaps to make a video about a Bible story, plan a puppet show, or prepare an anthem as an ad hoc children’s choir. But—and here’s the key—those activities would always connect to the life of the whole worshiping community. The video would be shown in worship, etc.

We also know we need to help equip parents. Like it or not, we are our children’s primary faith educators. I’ve heard of a church that sends home a packet each month with stories, activities, questions to discuss together, rituals, etc. I love this “homeschooling” approach. Sometimes (when I have time and inspiration) I will put together a GPS guide (Grow Pray Study) in the bulletin that helps people think further about the scripture and sermon, and I try to include something for families. That might be something we do more regularly.

We are also still considering how youth fit into this mix. We can see them as co-leaders of the special pullout activities. And we’re considering some mentoring, as well as partnering with another congregation for a mission trip.

Have you moved beyond Sunday School where you are? Would love to hear what you’re up to.

Jun 4, 2013

Anyway You Go You’re Gonna Get There

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But what if they’d bounded the other way?

As I reflect on 10 years of pastoral ministry, I’ve been talking with friends who are discerning God’s call and job shifts, and it’s got me thinking about U2. Some years back there was an article (can’t find it) that talked about what the guys from Dublin would have done with their lives had they not become the world’s biggest band. I recall that Larry would’ve been a police officer, etc. etc.

Then it quipped, “Bono, of course, could only be Bono.”

I know a few people like that. They’re doing what they were born to do and it’s hard to see them doing anything else. But most of us are like Edge, Adam and Larry (though not nearly so cool). We have many different gifts and many different interests. There are many possible paths we might take. If not this, then something else. And whatever we end up doing can lead to a meaningful life.

It makes discernment more difficult because you’re not usually deciding between right and wrong, but right and right.

Or option A, which is slightly less right, and Option B, which is a little more right but requires a big jump into the unknown.

Or Option C, which is right in several very important ways, and Option D, which is right in several other completely different ways.

But being Edge or Larry or Adam is also very freeing. It’s not about cracking the code and finding that one perfect vocation. It’s about trusting that whatever you decide, you will be where you need to be in that moment. And if you’re a Christian, it’s about trusting that the Spirit can use you wherever you end up—that you will play a small part in God’s grand dream of shalom for all.

You know those studies of people who won the lottery and those who became paraplegics? And how after six months of adjustment they were as happy or unhappy as they were before? Yeah. Like that.

During the last decade of ministry, there have been several crossroads moments for me—a church’s search committee that came calling, or that first writing workshop I attended that unlocked something important in me, or a cool non-profit opportunity that tugged on my heart. The most significant was applying for a sabbatical while an associate pastor, only to be called to Tiny Church instead. In fact, three days after Tiny voted to call me, I got the notification that my sabbatical grant application had been accepted and the Lilly Endowment wanted to give me [mumble] thousand dollars to hike in the Rockies and visit Cinque Terre with Robert. I had to turn it down.

God and I had some words about the timing of that. But here we are.

Our family loves Billy Jonas. He’s a sage in musician’s clothing, with some Pied Piper thrown in. One of my favorite songs is “Anyway You Go You’re Gonna Get There.” Check it out:

I got lost far from home, I was scared, I was all alone
A great big circus came my way; let me see what the fortunetellers have to say
First one said, “home is near,” second one said “you can’t get there from here”
Third one said, “it’s time to scatter, cuz any way you go it doesn’t matter….”

Chorus: Any way you go you’re gonna get there!
Any way you go you’re gonna get there!
Lean a little bit to where you wanna get
Cause any way you go you’re gonna get there!

Then here’s the heart of the song:

What if I choose the wrong career?
“Any way you go you’re gonna get there!”
And what if I make my choice in fear?
“Any way you go you’re gonna get there!”

Yes, some decisions are between right and wrong. But not most. Most moments of discernment are invitations to lean a little bit, and trust that any way you go you’re gonna get there.

Are you discerning between Options A and B, C and D right now? How are you being called to lean?

Jun 3, 2013

Lernen durch Fehler. Learning through Failure

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Duolingo Levels

(I have no idea if the German is right—that’s what Google translator came up with.)

My latest micro-obsession is Duolingo, an app that teaches foreign languages through a quiz-based game. It’s a nice interface, and the different question formats keep things interesting. I’ve taken a ridiculous amount of Spanish, but the game has helped me brush up a little. I’m hoping to get to some new material soon (you can test out of levels to move up faster).

My girls have a friend from Portugal, so they’ve decided to try to learn some Portuguese using Duolingo on the iPad. I had this identical conversation with both girls at different times this weekend:

Child: Mommy, what’s the Portuguese word for “woman”? I have to choose it from this list.
Me: I have no idea.
Child: I don’t either! How am I supposed to play this game?
Me: You guess, and it tells you whether you’re right.
Child [a few minutes later]: I didn’t pass the level! I have to start it again?
Me: Yes, but now you know the word for “woman,” don’t you?

In school, learners follow a pattern of instruction –> practice –> assessment. In Duolingo, instruction, practice and assessment are simultaneous. You learn from trial and error, from doing. Failure isn’t a setback, it provides critical information.

Life is more like Duolingo, isn’t it?

May 30, 2013

Sabbath as a Time for Balance

May 29, 2013

Ten Years In

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This Saturday is the 10th anniversary of my ordination in the Presbyterian Church (USA).

2003 was a hell of a year. My father died, I had my first child, I graduated from seminary, we moved to Northern Virginia, I was ordained, I took my first pastoral position, and we moved a second time, into the house we still inhabit. That brings us up to July of that year.

In August I started therapy.

When I began seminary, a non-religious friend told me he didn’t see me doing this forever. “It’s great what you’re doing; I just don’t see you doing the same thing long term. You’ll move on to something else.”

He didn’t mean it unkindly. I wondered myself whether ministry would stick. I had worked for several years prior to seminary, but never for more than a few years at any specific job. Now, ten years in… I don’t know. Is that long term? I remember when we started the Ask the Matriarch feature on RevGalBlogPals, I thought that those women seemed so experienced. Now I’m at that same vintage! Wow.

The great thing about ministry is that it’s always changing. Maybe it’s the last great generalist occupation. Depending on the day, I am a grief counselor, teacher, building manager, grant writer, desktop publisher, camp counselor, thought leader, fundraiser, community organizer, social media specialist, meeting facilitator, sandwich-maker, dispute mediator, contract negotiator, artist, and of course, preacher.

I’ve served two churches as pastor, but really I’ve served many more than that. Communities change as people come and go, as mission and ministry changes—as the world changes. My seminary professors were very clear that the era of Christendom was over; the idea that “everybody” goes to church, especially out of duty or societal expectation, is a thing of the past. The church of the future would have to be flexible, missional, risk-tolerant, creative. So I was prepared for an ever-changing vocation and an ever-changing church.

Still, I have been astounded by just how quickly things are changing. I harbored a secret hunch that there would always be a place for traditional worship, structure and church practice, provided they were offered with integrity, warmth, authenticity and excellence. I’m doubting that assumption more and more—and I’m someone who’s generally comfortable with alternate forms of church! I imagine how hard it must be people who aren’t prepared, who are still looking around flummoxed at how the world has moved on, asking “Why can’t we just plan a really great VBS and have that do the trick?” I think this is why I’m drawn to NEXT Church—it’s a place where churches of all shapes and sizes can acknowledge that doing “the old things better” is not going to work. So now what?

I happen to be walking with several friends who are discerning next steps in ministry. Some of them are actively interviewing with congregations. Others would like to be, but are waiting for a nibble. (In fact I wonder whether I am called to complete some training in spiritual direction/spiritual guidance.) It’s interesting to be the sounding board for these friends during my own 10th anniversary milestone. I feel very fortunate to have pieced together a vocation that works for me and that feels fruitful and right. But it’s not what I would have predicted for myself. More on that another time, perhaps.

Image source: Columbia Theological Seminary Vantage, Summer 2003. That’s me with Shelia Council and David Knauert, of blessed memory. Still can’t believe he’s gone.

The Blue Room

MaryAnn McKibben Dana