Monthly Archives: December 2010

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What’s Your Word for 2011?

Well I sorta fell off the Reverb bandwagon around Christmas. And y’know? I’m not going to feel guilty about it!

Although I didn’t finish out the month of Reverb prompts, I have been doing some dreaming and planning for 2011. Last Tuesday was “think day” for church stuff: worship planning, goals, etc. Wednesday was focused on personal life and writing. I do like the reset of a new year to refocus. The fact that the new year coincides with my birthday only reinforces the power of that. I don’t make resolutions, because those seem too rigid. I do set intentions, however. (Heck, I do that monthly, a la Happiness Project.)

One word kept coming up as I thought about 2011, and the word is “rootedness.” With such a busy life and so many demands on my time and energy, staying grounded is an ongoing challenge. It is easy to be “blown about by every wind of doctrine.” Or if not doctrine, then Internet kerfuffles, random anxieties and the crisis du jour.

My personal hopes for 2011 all grew out of that word:

  • rooted in the physical world (more walks outside, regular excursions to hike or explore)
  • rooted in deep relationships (I’m intending to write actual letters this year, and to have more phone conversations, and do less relationships-via-Facebook)
  • rooted in creativity (schedule regular “spirit days,” write the durn book).

I’ve also been playing the word game with the church. The church I used to serve would give out paper stars at Epiphany. Each had a word on it that was the person’s “prayer word” for the year. The words were all over the map: wisdom, peace, harmony.

The idea comes from a friend of mine, Margee Iddings, who recently shared the whole concept, which I love. The pastor thinks about the upcoming year: what the church will be facing, upcoming challenges and such. What virtues or attributes will be needed to face these challenges? Put those words on stars, and have people choose them at random. Then people are invited to find other people who share their word and talk briefly about what that word means to them and other brief questions.

It is often the case that people receive the word they need.

Next year, our congregation will be going through the presbytery’s “transforming congregations” project, making some decisions about what to do with our manse, and thinking about how to increase our connection to the larger community. Here are the words I chose:

  • trust
  • courage
  • compassion
  • risk
  • radiance
  • faith
  • attentiveness
  • joy

What would your word be for 2011?

Image: Epiphany Stars

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Santa Lives! Plus Video

A couple of years ago, I read a blog entry by a woman whose son had just “figured out” Santa. I can’t find it now, but the post was a lovely letter to her son in which she explained that he had learned something very important: You now know that magic can come from other people—that each of us and all of us can be bringers of magic to one another. I don’t resonate with magic language, but I think she’s right: it’s not that magic has ceased to exist. Instead, we are the creators of it. Something like that, anyway.

We don’t make a big deal out of Santa in our house. Santa brings a gift or two and fills stockings on Christmas morning, but we don’t write letters to him or visit him or anything like that. He’s everywhere this time of year, so they get plenty of indoctrination without our help.

When Caroline started inquiring seriously about Santa, I explained it to her in terms of Story. (Not a big surprise if you know me.) I told her the story of Saint Nicholas, and how Santa is a character that was inspired by a real person and has lasted all these years because it is such a powerful and beautiful story. Then I said that now she is in a different part of the story. She used to be one of the people who received gifts and joy from Santa, but now she gets to both receive that joy and give it to other people, most notably her siblings. So she helped pick out stocking stuffers for James, for example.

(I have no idea whether she got that, of course. I think there is some wistfulness there. But wistfulness is not enough to convince me that Santa is some pernicious lie that we tell our children. She doesn’t feel deceived, just nostalgic.)

This year both girls wanted American Girl dolls. We had already planned to buy new bikes for James and Margaret this year, and Caroline is still angling for a telescope, and for a variety of reasons, new AG dolls just weren’t going to happen. But a friend of mine found out about this and offered us her college-age daughter’s dolls—one for each of my girls, plus accessories. A few days before Christmas, we received two big boxes full of Felicity and Kaya and a wood table and chairs and a tea set and a horse and a tepee and books and more.

It really was overwhelmingly wonderful, and that was just my reaction!

This is a perfect example of what I tried to explain to Caroline—that the Santa story is a story we participate in—and we participate in different ways as we age. My friend chose to give some joy to two little girls rather than mothball her daughter’s toys, or sell them on eBay. And because Caroline knows the full story of Santa, I was able to share with her the origins of this year’s Christmas gift. Someday I will share the story with Margaret too.

On Christmas evening, I asked if they wanted to say thank you to Santa (or in Caroline’s case, “Santa.”) Since I know Santa reads this blog, I will include their video here. [One note of explanation: Margaret is going on about the Bitty Baby high chair because that's what Kaya sat in when the dolls had tea together. The other chair that Santa sent needs some repairs.]

I also want to say Thank You to Santa.

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Star

Several years ago I wrote a series of poems inspired by verses of Christmas carols. Since I won’t be blogging this weekend, I’ve set these to post every so often instead. Merry Christmas! Season’s Greetings!

This one was inspired by The First Nowell, verse 2. It was actually the first one I wrote that year.

they looked up, and saw a star shining
in the east
beyond them
far—
it hung fat in the sky
and taunted them for days.
when they moved, it slid alongside,
when they stopped and turned, it halted too
and winked like an idiot.

no-
eloquence
in its message: approach.

no-
elegance
in their response: buzz off,
swatting it;

but a few sighed:
all right.
we’ll go that way,
just to get you
off our backs.

so they turned, faced off with the light,
and walked a lingering day and night,
but the further they traveled, the more the beckoning star
remained far,
far beyond them.

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Day Break

Several years ago I wrote a series of poems inspired by verses of Christmas carols. Since I won’t be blogging this weekend, I’ve set these to post every so often instead. Merry Christmas! Season’s Greetings!

This one is inspired by “Silent Night” and a VERY early morning with baby Margaret. I say this long bright streak of light in the sky and could not for the life of me figure out what it was. The sun had come up behind a cloud that was not visible in the pre-dawn sky.

Silent night, holy night,
Son of God, love’s pure light;
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth,
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth.

daybreak is a blue receiving blanket
edged in baby pink, tucked tight
under the chin of a world that was
up half the night, wailing.
all is calm, tender and mild,
damp, glittering.

then out of nothing
a silver thread appears, streaks the sky
and hangs for a long piercing moment.
an airplane’s hasty journey?
or a lightning strike, frozen on film?
(I can almost believe we are standing so still)

I’ve never had to decipher the dawn.

I’m disappointed to see
the rest of the cloud come into view,
edged in light, because
if this is the dawn of redemption,
then that sliver is the sky torn in two,
not like a garment rent in anguish,
but like a peek beyond the curtain
where truly, all is bright.

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Bliss

Several years ago I wrote a series of poems inspired by verses of Christmas carols. Since I won’t be blogging this weekend, I’ve set these to post every so often instead. Merry Christmas! Season’s Greetings!

This one was inspired by the line from “In the Bleak Midwinter” that says, “worship the beloved with a kiss.” Margaret was about a year old when I wrote this.

worship
though it’s embarrassing,
like talking in one’s sleep
or feeling milk chortle out the nose.
it is unseemly, the amnesia of the self,
the adoration unto death, the testimony,
against the evidence, that there is
only
this:

the beloved
addressing her:
be loved,
as i am.
you cradle me, but it is i who will
save you, gather you back
from the
abyss;

with a
pair of eyes studying her face, with
her palm cooling the fevered brow,
with humming, light as angels; with her arm,
taut beneath a small body; with an ever-deepening night,
with all the time in the world,
with a
kiss.

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Mist

Several years ago I wrote a series of poems inspired by verses of Christmas carols. Since I won’t be blogging this weekend, I’ve set these to post every so often instead. Merry Christmas! Season’s Greetings!

This one was inspired by “It Came Upon the Midnight Clear” and a VERY foggy day we had that year.

Still through the cloven skies they come
With peaceful wings unfurled,
And still their heavenly music floats
O’er all the weary world;
Above its sad and lowly plains,
They bend on hovering wing,
And ever over its Babel sounds
The blessed angels sing.

the heavenly music floats high, high enough
to catch sunlight,
its pure white patches—
distant through naked trees—
puffed and fat with trumpets,
or combed into pianissimo wisps.

and it came to pass
that the weary world reached up,
snagged the misty amens,
clutched them close
until puffs of angel song
pooled in the valleys of chill,
got tangled in gnarled branches
making the weary wonderful,
a suburb sublime.

you couldn’t see the fog all around you
but you knew you must be in it
because it rested like a lead apron, a comfort
as you gulped down each damp chord
thinking yes, this is what we begged for.

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Reverb #23: New Name

December 23 – New Name. Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

I’ve met this question in various forms over the years and I never know what to make of it. I can’t imagine having a new name. There are other names I like, and there are things I would like to change and improve in myself, but a new name? No. Names are important, and I have the name I’m meant to have. If I had another name I’d be someone else.

I’m MaryAnn. I’m content enough, being me. My greatest goal is to continue to be me, only more so. Of all the MaryAnns out there, I guess I’d like to be the MaryAnniest.

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Reverb #22: Travel

December 22 – Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

This one’s subtle: how, not where. But I don’t think I can get to the how until I list some of the where.

So… the literal answer:

  • DisneyWorld: excitedly, stressfully, joyfully, with the delight of a child, or three to be exact.
  • Houston, TX: nostalgically, gratefully, with a realization of how far I’ve come and that I’m not likely to return. That is, I may live there again someday, and will surely visit, but of course, I cannot go back.
  • Davidson, NC: with my beloved clergy group: great growth, depth, intellectual rigor and hilarity. It is, without exaggeration, one of my favorite weeks of the year.
  • Collegeville, MN (writing retreat): sinking more deeply into the writing vocation, deep breaths, unhurried, yet incredibly productive.
  • Montreat, NC: great joy, barefoot sabbath times, late night conversations with dear friends.
  • Paris: intuitively, mindfully, with the guidebooks tucked into the suitcase but no agenda beyond that.
  • Prague: as a pilgrim, willing to be guided by others more fluent in the city than I; along for the ride, a rare position for me.
  • Ocean City, MD: a trip of less than 24 hours, a combination of business and pleasure—long sessions of training was the “business,” and sleeping with the windows open to the sea breeze was the pleasure.

The figurative answer is that in 2010 I traveled light and I traveled with baggage; I traveled rigidly in time and space, and I traveled “Sabbathly”; I traveled in solitude and in community; I traveled mindfully and in a sleepwalk.

Next year: I want to go to Collegeville again. The clergy group will go to Austin in May. I’m hoping for a trip to Dallas. And I want to start making plans for a “big trip” with the whole family (perhaps international) in 2012.

How I want to travel: I’m thinking about a word for next year, and the word that keeps coming up is “rootedness.” So I want to live in that paradoxical space in which I venture into some new, exciting territory, while remaining grounded in what is true, good and life-giving. Like that T.S Eliot verse that is so beloved:

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

Image: one of the subway stops in Prague. I like the lines on it.

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So Be Good for Goodness’ Sake

A member of the church sent me this article as a response to some of the themes we’ve been discussing in our Advent Conspiracy study. I was especially interested in this 1984 experiment:

The children were asked to tell stories about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or their pets. They were then given nine pieces of gum and “encouraged to donate any amount of their gum to handicapped children.”

The kindergartners, who were clearly not yet into sharing, tended to hold onto their gum. But the first-graders were far more generous, and those who had been discussing Santa were the most giving of all. They gave up an average of 3.63 pieces of gum, compared to 1.3 pieces for those who talked about the Easter Bunny and 1.63 for those who discussed their pets.

The study’s authors surmise that the “Santa kids” display the most generous behavior because “children perceive Santa Claus — but not the Easter Bunny — as a contingent gift-giver, assessing the quality of a child’s behavior before determining the nature of gifts… Alternately, children may see Santa Claus as more generally vigilant than the Easter Bunny.”

That seems very likely, especially since many parents use Santa Claus as a carrot and a stick at Christmastime. I suspect this was even more true in the 1980s than now.

However, it is also possible that the story of Santa’s giving inspires giving. I’d like to think that is a factor; in fact, I have read studies that strongly suggest this. People learn and exhibit empathy when they are intentionally exposed to people in need and to stories of extravagant generosity. To be frank, this idea is pretty foundational for me as a Christian minister—that the epic story of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection effects a transformation in the lives and hearts of its listeners, such that they are moved to “go and do likewise.”

But if that were the case—that stories of generosity inspire generosity—how do we understand the discrepancy between the “Santa children” and the “Easter Bunny children”? There are all sorts of possible reasons:

  • The quality of the stories. The Santa story is much more deeply resonant with children than the Easter Bunny.
  • Along those same lines, the Santa myth is grounded in a historical person, Saint Nicholas, Bishop of Myra. And I think the myth carries the weight of that historicity, even when the listeners don’t know the source material. Stories are powerful and mysterious that way.
  • The Easter Bunny is an animal, giving the story much less of an aspirational quality. What, I’m supposed to emulate a rabbit?
  • Generally speaking, Santa displays an abundance of generosity (toys, candy and stocking stuffers) that the Easter Bunny does not (a basket of candy).

What do you think?

By the way, I never realized until I typed the title how contradictory that verse of the song. “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good.” Then comes the line in the title.

But wait—is it contradictory? I think it all comes down to the punctuation. When viewed like this:

So be good, for goodness sake!

It’s totally in keeping with the song. It’s a threat—be good, or else. (And how many folks do we know who still cling to that view of God?)

But when viewed like this, it’s totally different:

So be good for goodness’ sake.

Be good… for the sake of goodness. Not because you get anything in return. It’s like a little glimmer of good news and a faithful bit of ethics right in the middle of “Boogeyman gonna get ya” theology. I’ll take the glimmers and bits where I can get them.

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Reverb #21

December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

Words to my current self, from the future… nothing too profound:

1. Keep walking each day. You’re establishing some patterns that’ll make life easier for me.

2. Today is their childhood.

3. Keep writing. It keeps you sane.

4. ”Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

5. ”I can’t give you a formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody.” Herbert Bayard Swope

6. Say no to more stuff.

7. But stay in touch with your family and friends. And keep up the date nights.

———-

In terms of the bonus, I don’t resonate with assignments to look back and offer advice. I do wish that we had traveled more before we had kids, and I honestly don’t know what we did with our time. I’m not saying that in the sense of realizing our time was spent on trivial matters—I’m saying I really don’t remember! But other than that… I don’t look back in quite that “I wish I had known” way.